Heartbreak.Prayer.Love

Heartbreak.Prayer.Love

If trials and tribulations bring you closer to God,they are a blessing.I have heard that so often , so many times , so frequently but i guess i got lucky in 2018 . I cannot thank Allah enough for opening my eyes and showing me what unconditional love looks like .

I stumble across so many heartbreak posts on social media daily . People mentioning their breakup, broken engagements , finding it hard to get married and time after time getting hurt . I really want to to shower sunshine towards any one and everyone ready this .This is not an elixir but a gentle reminder to our souls and our hearts.

1. Getting Hurt:

We always get hurt when we hold expectations.We function with the heart.Humans have been designed that way .Allah mentions the heart more than 132 times in the Quran- sealed their hearts, opened their hearts, closed their hearts etc.It holds immense significance in describing our feelings.The heart expects from those who are near and dear to us: our loved ones,your significant other, your best friend or your family. I stumbled across someone’s tweet the other day where they mentioned how humans disappoint.The truth is: dunya would always disappoint.Wisdom is in understanding that.What we need to understand is that pain can be a form of making us understand the greater design: opening our heart to understand that humans, how good they are, cannot be perfect, can never be perfect.We need to have faith in God’s plan for us. Many a times, pain is thrown to give us a reminder that God is Al Wadud (The loving one) and His love is unconditional .It is a reminder to go back to Him ,remember and ask Him.It is a reminder to ask Him for anything: be it a person or any other thing!

2. Falling in Love:

Indeed one of the most beautiful thing in the world is falling in love.

There is a hadith of the Prophet Muhammad PBUH that i’d like to quote:

“There is nothing better for two who love one another than marriage.” - Ibn Majah

Imagine getting to spend the rest of your life with someone you are in love with! One of the most beautiful feeling is indeed to be in love but  if it consumes you, it can be one of the most tragic as well!

We have complicated this otherwise beautiful union in the most bizarre ways:-

Humans are in love  with the idea of love but i have come across so many who are not ready to make it happen!I know of so many who are looking for a significant other but cannot find someone.The irony is ,humans like to chase and in the chase we are blinded,unable to see the potential other(s) who exist around us.This way we end up losing people who are sincere with us, give us time, make time for us but we are so used to them being sincere and good with us that we cannot see them/do not want to see them as a potential other.'

There is another category ;a category that i’d  rather not spend my time explaining.We have them everywhere: in our circles, extended family but then a marriage based on a crooked base for material gain ,even if survives- crookedly stands tall.

Love is all about understanding, trusting, respecting each other, good-humour and giving space.Many people fall short on the last bit.We form unrealistic expectations from our potential partner.

Marriage should be a means to happiness and not an end to it.

God often takes away what we love the most to show us that a significant other should be a part of our life and not our life!

When you live your life with this rule you would start considering those as a potential match that you might have never thought of before or would have shrugged at the idea of being with them.

3 The fountain of life:

The fountain is fuelled by gratitude, humility and keeping the slate of heart clean.Though it might be hard to forgive, forgiveness can do wonders. Just thinking positively would reverberate the positive energy all around you! When you give more,more good will come towards you: tried and tested! Constant faith in God(he is All Hearing and All knowing) would help you steer your way. Remember,He knows what is in everyone’s heart and no matter what happens your prayer would be answered one way or the other. The Holy Prophet said and i quote “Allah is Most Generous, and He dislikes to turn away the empty hands of His slave when he raises them to Him.Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi.

My 2018 summed up beautifully .The last quarter (through some incidents)gave me a gift- a reminder  where God made me realise that everything has a time: a divine time and nothing can happen before it or after it! It has to happen then!Have faith, be open to options and stay positive! Sending truck loads of best wishes your way.May you find what you have been seeking for :)

Identity Crisis

Mind is a beautiful thing. It can be allowed to accept a lie and deny the truth.Allow to accept the truth and deny the lie. Also, allow to make the lie the truth and accept the truth. We have, in our lives been consumed by a major portion of the truth, the 'false-truth'.

Who would  knock on our inner self, our sub-conscious.Self-exploration;who would do that?Stand in front of the mirror and question yourself.You ,would have to do that. You are the saint who can guide your conscious, the soul  who could reap gold from the treasures of the Holy Book (Quran),  you:the  most sincere friend, the garment  of your soul.You are presently a threat to your own self and can be a friend ,if you would like to be.

You did  set out on a journey to acquire education Why did your thoughts become so myopic along the way? You began to judge others, stereotyped them , labelled them, became a xenocentric consumer, thwarted yourself as a savage slave of consumerism, limited your social gatherings to a particular class and yet you  still think you became  modern? 

You, became another victim of the 'false-truth' A truth that led you delve in your self-created  identity crisis. You educated yourself  but in limited ways. You stepped out to learn but you ended up juggling and fanthoming modernization as westernization and  liberation.

You lost your battle of being educated.If and only if you had accepted knowledge from every where with open arms. If and only if you had not limited education to just your opinion. If and only if you were not quick to judge .Only and only if you had loved yourself , your identity and not chained your mind in the shackles of   becoming some one you are not.
I pray that we realize and not shun the truth, stand tall and not deviate away from our identity as Pakistanis.I wish my words would mean ,sound and reflect sense to someone, someday.Someday.

Of matrimonials and rishta finders

Illustrious weddings are a common site here in South Asia. Being a Pakistani, despite  living in a country that has been fighting for its survival for the past sixty seven years, I still get to witness rishta finders digging with the most bizarre questions and weddings becoming more pompous by the day.

The hunt for the ‘right person’ is a never ending journey. Who exactly is the ‘right person’? Certain markers have been identified, courtesy: common observation.

a.       The perfect D.I.L syndrome:
Have you ever taken a good look at the matrimonial advertisements? Fair is almost always a specification. How can you in a country which naturally has been blessed with a range of brown skin tones produce a white beauty? Do you plan on decoding the genetic order? Obviously not pragmatic, hard to attain and hefty for the pocket. Plan B all the way: fall for the whitening products!
There are many facets to being the right daughter In law or D.I.L in short. One of them: being fair.
Usage of the whitening products has increased in alarming rates in East Asian countries where women are forced to believe that beauty lies in being white, major contributor being the perfect D.I.L syndrome. Prospective mother in laws look for girls with a fairer skin, a hunt for a Caucasian skin tone is never ending in Pakistan. Being brown  is considered, by the majority : a cardinal sin.

b.      Looking for opulent and merry: what a distasteful sherry!

Materialistic desires are never ending. Swipe of a credit card, ride in the Chevy and butlers in the house are given more preference than morals and manners these days. Not only does it go for the groom to be, but prospective bride-to-be are sought after due to their bolstered financial support .Supporting stance held : after all the groom’s future needs to be secured as well! This has led to recent weddings being an obscure vision of a financial agreement ,where  parties have run into a marriage contract ,more like a business deal, based on the monetary surplus that would yield from the contract .Little do they know  that they might not even breakeven or run in loss if the ‘contract’ comes to an end. After all it sounded more like a deal than a human relationship!

c.       W.O.T  analysis:

She might have what potentially every other better half should have. What might stop him from asking for her hand might be the fact that she popped the balloon of not being a very young girl in her twenties. W O.T or Women Over Thirty are usually looked down upon  or disregarded as a potential match  for any eligible bachelor in our part of the world. Not only that , she is frequently discussed amongst acquaintances and family alike. If a working lady, her freedom is attributed as a cause of no potential match or talked about as a ‘beechari’ if no other reason is plastered for her being single .

The decadence of values and twisted priorities has improvised a trend of materialistic living, shallow standards and deviation from what are simple easy rules defined by Islam for choosing a spouse. Our needs if have contributed in anyway have indeed made living a peaceful life a daunting task .I hope education  and understanding  the spirit of Islam can remodel the dilapidated state of normal life affairs.

Disaster strikes again: Bhuja Air Plane crashes in Islamabad.

Disaster strikes again: Bhuja Air Plane crashes in Islamabad.

It has almost been  2 years that Air Blue's Air bus(A321) crashed due to adverse weather conditions, the significant cause listed for the disastrous crash killing all 152 people on board .A catastrophe that abandoned 100 of families and lead to the loss of loved ones.

Today, once again, we encountered the loss of numerous innocent lives, thwarted from reaching their destination by another plane crash. A paradoxical statement put forward again :' poor weather condition'.

 As reported by various news channels both National and International, the crash was sudden. There was contact with the pilot till around 6:20-ish pm .Some eye-witnesses have been reported to have seen a ball of fire growing larger as it eventually came down and crashed. Faulty engine, poor navigation, warning by civil aviation, life of our air craft fleet are numerous questions that came pounding after hearing such remorse news.

  The service life of a usual airplane is  not more than 20 years( as by this time the average number of planes cover the maximum  number of flying hours which are used to determine the life of a plane) and beyond that it can be  deleterious! It is nothing more than a piece of scrap and should be treated like that. Our national liner and other private airlines operating in Pakistan have fleet older than the normal span of operation and usage. So why are such planes still being run and part of the current fleet; a question usually sidelined by multiple stakeholders of the Aviation and the Public Entity PIA.

   One might wonder how this aircraft and many others get the permission to operate beyond the normal span of life and eventually we all end up blaming the pilot for the crash (as in the case of Bhuja Airline).For all those who might not know, Civil Aviation is the sole issuer of granting licenses to aircraft's for carrying out their normal routine flights.

   Working in/for the Civil Aviation is a very lucrative job. This again gives rise to a multitude of thoughts which might disparage the image of Civil Aviation owing to its current employees and putting a stake on its workings including the recent nomination of our Civil Aviation Authority Chief Finance Officer ,brother-in-law of and  another dear choice of our current President ,Asif Ali Zardari. Civil Aviation is an organization  currently  run by a mélange of high profile AirForce and other officials who find this job highly remunerative. This seriously challenges the state of affairs ,the manner in  with which the organization is being run and pummels such statements and questions such as that of the recent air crash.

    Viewing the current catastrophe from another dimension, we know that the control tower notifies the weather conditions and it lands upon the operating company and eventually the pilot to decide. It’s more about the company bound at carrying its scheduled operations despite the unfavourable predicaments. Even if the adverse weather condition part is only taken in consideration, the company decided to fly there plane despite the risky weather conditions.  

Sounds similar to our National Liner: PIA’s aging fleet  is still being operated with considerable hauls in regular flight timings, an over staffed organization and lack of maintenance.

Detention of PIA’s plane in France (last year), promises made by the officials on changing its fleet and restructuring this public entity are proof enough to discredit the fact how  Civil Aviation and this public entity has been working by not only putting at stake the lives of many but also causing inconvenience and considerable halts in passenger conveyance.

We cannot afford  risking more innocent lives. This is a matter of serious concern which has become paramount owing to the current crash. We can only hope that the future appointments are merit based and not based on referrals (like the one recently nominated by the President) ensuring transparency in the system. If the Civil Aviation ensures and grants licenses to organizations with upgraded fleet,many innocent lives like the ones lost today can be saved.

Skin dripping: essential for models?

I wrote this a long time back(in 2007) but consider it worth sharing.Happy reading :)

Lights flashing, hair clapping the rouge and stiletto's provoking the clatter on the catwalk. A

model makes an appearance with flimsy bangles playing carelessly on her hand; a chick' figure

with a flat abdomen, hallowed eyes and a sharply carved face stands amidst, silhouetted against a magnanimous crowd.

Some say the art of modeling is all about an ironed figure, bones sketched on the skin, sulky

eyes and yes chiffon slinging loosely on the body.

Is the art of modeling all about skin dripping?

The art of modeling is all about expressing trend lines and flaunting off labels on the ramp.

All this is achieved with the right mode of makeup, clothing and expressions which mesmerize

the crowd.

A pale, ailing wearing face hooked to a lean, fragile body casts nothing but a look masses

wait to see.

Surprised? Don't be! This remains a fact for as long as modeling was established. Models

work under extreme pressure and are barged by the industry to maintain their figures. As a result,the industry pays them millions of dollars/rupees because literally everybody considers them to be "the-most-beautiful-women!"

What we fail to understand is that most start suffering from Anorexia Nervosa, a disease

characterized by serious malnutrition and organ malfunction which in extreme cases leads to

death!

The greatest flaw resides in the industry and the masses themselves .What we fail to

understand is that the art of modeling does not frail away with a model looking "healthy"! What

matters is the way she carries herself and by this I mean makes an appropriate appearance on the ramp, goes slow, steady or fast in coordination with the beat and theme, indulges, purely devotes and castigates those expressions which will boast and beam the designers line!

In fact, a healthy looking model is capable of making a better appearance! The glowing visage

and the warmth of her looks are viable to make an instantaneously positive impact on the crowd.

Also better eating habits not only reduce the stress levels but also elevates the level of happiness.

Thus models are likely to perform there work better.

As said by a famous celebrity regarding models: a wall flower can do two things in the

spotlight, either wilt or bloom. Think about it!

Ingredients for a cup full of happiness

Ingredients for a cup full of happiness

About relationships, work, overcoming obstacles and feeling content at heart

Happiness is not always attained in complicated ways; it can be achieved by adding and savoring the simple ingredients of life. We all go through rough times, rough patches, have to face hardships and at times feel that the black clouds are only lined above us. Where do we go wrong in all of this? Is there a secret ingredient to leading a happy, joyous life or is it always marred by struggles and harsh consequences leading to bruised hope, no use of wisdom and dust-bin dispatched faith?

What we fail to realize is that sometimes we are not fighting hard enough. We might give up too easily on the situation. Yes, it is one thing to say and another to follow. The real question is: how many of us even try to follow? Its all about building the blocks which lead you to the final eternal abode of peace; Nirvana .Life isn't complicated, we make it so. Might sound cliché' but holds the essence of the very basic human instinct: there is no end to having enough.

It might start from a few shoes to multiple jimmy choos, decent bags to a designer haven wardrobe, and oh i-so-want-that-Swarovski watch or bracelet- on my list and it never really stops. We are faced with the 'looking-perfect' ordeal .There is this huge checklist of perfect things:

perfect grades

perfect car

perfect daughter/son -inlaw

perfect job

perfect everything(and one can definitely add to it)

What many of us fail to realize is that we substantially miss contentment and peace at heart. Multiple hearts hammer with constant thoughts of not having enough and subsequently there are a mélange of woes. People eventually flurry into a state of depression which is pretty much anticipated when such goals are placed in front of us.

There are multiple ways, many i tell you of reaching peace with yourself, both at mind and heart.

Relax, sit on a couch and take a deep breath. Think about this: how much time did i devote to myself today? I am sure you had multiple errands to run. Maybe university to attend, college applications to fill, social work to do, you might be tight on a deadline and there must be this never-ending list.

So what do we do with this never ending list. How do i satisfy myself with my ever-growing wants and a long to-do list?

It all starts with looking at the size of your pocket. How much can I spend? I am sure we all must have a million things lined up as our wants. Try saving some money at the end of every month and get what you can afford by the end of the month(s).

Savour what ever you have. Think about those who cannot even afford to have what you have. Look around yourself and you can easily picture how blessed you are. When you realize that you are better off than many around you ,you would start feeling content with your present share of things.

Be patient. No prayer is ever left unanswered .Be patient in your relationships, in your goals and what ever you desire to have. Good things happen to those who are steadfast, work hard for it and have faith in God. Faith keeps you content, helps you put the multiple things on your 'want-list' aside. These three key ingredients can maneuver you towards your end goal and keep you content.

Give time to your family. What we fail to understand is that we are partly not content because we hardly spend time with our family. Do not neglect your family .Remember work would always be there but do not juggle it with your personal life. Make time for your family..Give time to your wife/husband, kids and your grandparents. If you talk about making a difference, start by making a difference at home. How can you help others if you cannot help yourself with your relationships with your spouse, your kids, your parents or any other relative?

Stop running after money. Earn enough to run a decent household but don't have a myopic approach towards life. Lots of money would buy you good clothes but would never buy you contentment at heart. Contentment of heart is reached when you do something productive with your life. Start being stronger than your wants and if you start thinking that way ,you already are on the road towards success.

Smile .Smiling is contagious and a smile could make someone's day. Smile often as it radiates positiveness and helps you become an optimistic person.

So start by having that connection with God, have long term goals, set good use of your time and never neglect your family.

As far as workaholics are concerned take a breather and hear me out :)

Take some time out for yourself. It could be some minutes to half an hour or an hour. Live that time for yourself. Do what ever makes you happy. For a moment disconnect yourself from the world. Sounds easier than done, agreed but it is about making that effort. Try doing that every day. This should be your initial motto and you can build on it. You could take time off during an empty slot (probably when you do not have a class), during your office lunch break etc.

Meditate. Meditation is the key to disconnecting from the tangles of thoughts constantly jamming our head. It could be done thorough yoga or even praying!

Yes, establishing that connection with God would not only save you from having the guilty conscious of not praying(if you have one that is) plus you could talk to your hearts content, ask and be at peace. Even with your work piled up you still managed to build on that spiritual connection with your Lord. Establish prayers, as through prayers you connect with your Lord who does take care of the worldly affairs you left for Him(as you were praying).

Make a schedule that you can follow. An unrealistic schedule would lead you no where and in fact de-motivate you and you might end up undermining your potential.

Constantly remind your self of how far you have pulled off in life and your work at large. Sometimes we all need to be acknowledged for what we have accomplished so far. Remember a little pat on the back does no harm.

So start by having that connection with God, set long-term goals, make good use of your time and never neglect your family. These simple ingredients once stirred in your cup of life would make it more meaningful and satisfying. Have a great day and stay blessed. :)

Devastating Floods Of 2011

It has only been a year and we were still recovering from the inconsequential series of events that follow a national disaster.Yet again,maybe not on a national level but at the provincial level, water decided to fade the smile on millions of faces who not only lost shelter but their families and loved ones to the mighty flow of the water and thirst of malaria and other water-borne diseases that followed course.

As a Pakistani i have both realized and accepted, a multitude of facts, most importantly, that our genetic code has encrypted :'emotional at the hour of need and then back to normal'.Normal here signifies the same 'ghissa-pitta-chal-koi-nai-attitude' that we follow very vigorously.Lets blame our Pakistani genetic make-up for this; after all we never get over with the blame-game ,do we?

The other day,I was talking to a peer regarding fund raising and the reply was totally not surprising'considering the fact that Sindh is on the other end of Pakistan....how would our work be highlighted..more like how would i be highlighted'.Several such bouts of concocted,messed up thoughts and it wouldn't be amusing that i would feel nauseous . Spare me the political drama, which has engulfed Pakistan these days;I'd rather have my hands on a bucket full of Pakistani Hico's Chocolate Fudge(totally desi :not Ben and Jerry's for sure).The next thing would be a Minister making his way through the murky flood water bringing death to his designer shoes,darn it(at least the shoes were sacrificed...after all there is some positive to the story).

On a much serious note,our Sindhi brethren need our help and we can still help them.I am sure we all have old articles of clothes,shoes,bags that we can spare.It does not matter if we are donating a rupee or five,every penny counts! According to 'wiki-aunty' we are the 6th largest nation in terms of population.An estimated figure of over 187 million is given for the year 2011.Deducing approximately 20 percent of 187 million(20% standing as an exemption to the people living below the poverty line ; a rounded off figure given by the World Bank) ,the total amount could sum up into millions of rupees.Every rupee counts and every rupee can make a difference.I can save a life and so can you!

It is time(always is though,believe me) that we pull up our socks(i change mine frequently) and practically do something.Make a difference!Get that same amount of zeal which we have ,when we have a match against India.Try to get the same amount of enthusiasm if that is through shots of caffeine,red-bull,ever-emotional political dialogue on our national news channels(sniff) or whatever it takes to bring about a change!Time is ticking off and we have to make a difference by contributing.

It is always great to pen down ideas and exchange views but we have to go beyond that and practically do something.Let's do what ever we can in our own capacity.I remember mentioning earlier that we have the emotional gene;believe me if used well, we can move mountains!.Let's stand together at this hour of need.

Save Pakistan, save our people!