Of matrimonials and rishta finders

Illustrious weddings are a common site here in South Asia. Being a Pakistani, despite  living in a country that has been fighting for its survival for the past sixty seven years, I still get to witness rishta finders digging with the most bizarre questions and weddings becoming more pompous by the day.

The hunt for the ‘right person’ is a never ending journey. Who exactly is the ‘right person’? Certain markers have been identified, courtesy: common observation.

a.       The perfect D.I.L syndrome:
Have you ever taken a good look at the matrimonial advertisements? Fair is almost always a specification. How can you in a country which naturally has been blessed with a range of brown skin tones produce a white beauty? Do you plan on decoding the genetic order? Obviously not pragmatic, hard to attain and hefty for the pocket. Plan B all the way: fall for the whitening products!
There are many facets to being the right daughter In law or D.I.L in short. One of them: being fair.
Usage of the whitening products has increased in alarming rates in East Asian countries where women are forced to believe that beauty lies in being white, major contributor being the perfect D.I.L syndrome. Prospective mother in laws look for girls with a fairer skin, a hunt for a Caucasian skin tone is never ending in Pakistan. Being brown  is considered, by the majority : a cardinal sin.

b.      Looking for opulent and merry: what a distasteful sherry!

Materialistic desires are never ending. Swipe of a credit card, ride in the Chevy and butlers in the house are given more preference than morals and manners these days. Not only does it go for the groom to be, but prospective bride-to-be are sought after due to their bolstered financial support .Supporting stance held : after all the groom’s future needs to be secured as well! This has led to recent weddings being an obscure vision of a financial agreement ,where  parties have run into a marriage contract ,more like a business deal, based on the monetary surplus that would yield from the contract .Little do they know  that they might not even breakeven or run in loss if the ‘contract’ comes to an end. After all it sounded more like a deal than a human relationship!

c.       W.O.T  analysis:

She might have what potentially every other better half should have. What might stop him from asking for her hand might be the fact that she popped the balloon of not being a very young girl in her twenties. W O.T or Women Over Thirty are usually looked down upon  or disregarded as a potential match  for any eligible bachelor in our part of the world. Not only that , she is frequently discussed amongst acquaintances and family alike. If a working lady, her freedom is attributed as a cause of no potential match or talked about as a ‘beechari’ if no other reason is plastered for her being single .

The decadence of values and twisted priorities has improvised a trend of materialistic living, shallow standards and deviation from what are simple easy rules defined by Islam for choosing a spouse. Our needs if have contributed in anyway have indeed made living a peaceful life a daunting task .I hope education  and understanding  the spirit of Islam can remodel the dilapidated state of normal life affairs.